(Memnos II) – A Silence In Which No One Sings

memnos 2.1memnos 2.2memnos 2.3memnos 2.4memnos 2.5

        I’d like to think that, if you made it to this point, you hold the glory that my poem holds not, as you withstood it. I don’t particularly like anything I produce these days, but this one was a delicate endeavor to iron-out. Written over nearly two months, revised hundreds of times, wholesomely deleted in countless others, I don’t think any poem has ever caused me this amount of hardship in conception. Alas, I truly wanted to write another poem-of-memory, this turn related to my first youthful love and how I’ve felt about it hitherto.

        I’ve you’re still with me, my gratitude is endless. I cannot fathom someone reading the entirety of this composition, but I’ve you’ve liked even a portion of it, it would already allow worth into my strain, for which I would be unfathomably happy.


(PS: The poem “Alto Como o Silêncio” is by Santomean poet Maria Manuela Margarido, which I translated for the purpose of citation; to my knowledge, there is no translated version of her works by a professional in such field)


35 thoughts on “(Memnos II) – A Silence In Which No One Sings

  1. I love the last two stanzas of the second part, especially “My love exists as a distant constellation, dimming under the weight of Time; it exists in the I which was yours, but shall never again be mine.”

    I once took similar pains with a sonnet sequence about a moment of spiritual depth I had experienced. By the end, I found that it didn’t seem to hold the same meaning after being read so much, but now that I look back with some distance, it was a worthwhile journey!

    Always good to see you around! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jacqueline!

      I feel your strenuous sound-weaving, as form can sometimes be a gigantic hindrance when one wishes to speak beyond the meter, beyond the rhyme, beyond the structure. I wrote many sonnets before, and even in distance, only a few charge with the weight I’d wish them to. And especially with something like spiritual depth, where the amount of what may be said seems almost like a solemn planetary ocean.

      I’m overjoyed that you liked some of the poem, and I’m always so grateful to have you read it.


  2. You are right. This poem is quite lengthy and reading the whole of it is hard ,mostly by ‘aged eyes’. But I read half way through your translation and I felicitate you for your excellent work… a labour of love…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ashok!

      To me, it’s already a beautiful, insurmountable blessing to be read by someone else, independent on how that reading is perceived; but to have that someone else call it beautiful, well, it just compounds the blessing.

      Thank you a million-fold, truly.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Is the space between characters too slim? I must admit, I don’t give too much attention to the overall aesthetic or presentation, but perhaps I should.
      Any font or visual advice you are willing to provide? (At least, if that’s what you mean by kerning)


  3. No, I think it’s too broad. It’s fine, it reads well and flows without too many glitches. A little more attention might help, might not. Depends.

    I’m willing but unable to provide visual advice. Fonts should be easy–they’re just in the menu at the top. Assuming web design standards don’t totally fucking crumble in the near future.

    Also, I think the title is a little ironic in that it was very noisy when no one was singing. Not “real” silence. I was under the impression that silence was quiet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, haha, I know how fonts work and how to transmute them, I was more asking in a tone of which font would you possibly recommend for a greater aesthetic clarity. Of course, I didn’t mean to ask quite literally how fonts work.
      Yes; physical silence is quiet and peaceful. In any work of symbolical or literary momentum, one is compelled to not understand things quite as dimensionally, so no, silence can be unrestful, it can be insanely unrestful, as absence of sound or expression does not equal a direct placidity.
      Furthermore, any mellifluous Art has trouble conveying the symbology of silence without omission, and omission, in poetry, is negation.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not sure about that last point in the last point, but however–thank you for appreciating the literary statements. I have no idea which fonts are clearer than others but I’m supposed to be learning about it. It’s a complicated matter and hard to grasp, but I do agree that if you’re irritated when it’s quiet it’s still irritating.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Silence can be the loudest sound in which one begs for the finality to occur, I believe. Not a poet in the truest sense but this work is so complete to my eyes and soul. Nobody I reckon enjoys their own work, I certainly don’t like reading my own stuff, not because it is bad though, mind you, just cos I don’t really. Your insecurity is a credit to your search for perfection, stay UP,PEACE


      1. it is a good thing and this is a beautiful thing. I found words that these past couple months have been left silent. Each time i read this a new memory surfaces and honestly your genius piece of art sent me trippin. thanks x

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, I’m overjoyed!
        That is the main purpose of these pieces, you see; they are woven from my own memories, but simultaneously, I meticulously prepare the order of details I can recall, so that lyrically (or through sound), it may reminisce someone of their own experiences. Almost trying to write an impersonal diary.
        I think that, if you are remembering figments of your life, my job was well done.
        And I’m super duper happy for that,
        thank you infinitely.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I respect and admire the works you share especially Memnos II. The first time I have responded with such outward emotion to text. They are delicately looped in with a sensitive view of experience and I would love to know how do you prepare these stories, your process of making
        it’s picturesque:) thanks again!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Johnny, I read your beautiful poetry yesterday, again today and I shall read it tomorrow as well. It touches my heart and is so very beautiful. There isn’t a single word out of place. To me it feels as if it’s floating gently in time and I am fortunate enough to have come alongside of it for a moment. Truly lovely. 🌷 worth every day of the two months you put into it. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ellie, my dearest.
      You always fill me with insurmountable amounts of love and positivity, and I cannot fathom being worthy of such expressions, but I am so deeply honoured by them.
      I’m glad you felt so connect to my work, for if there is anyone I’m striving to impress, it would certainly be you.
      I adore you much, may we never miss each other for long.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is my true pleasure Johnny. Your thoughts sing because they come from within. I adore you much as well and I so agree, may we never miss each other for long. Do take care 🌷


    1. I’m as okay as I can, truly! You needn’t worry. There is a lot of pain being distilled because, even if densely shrouded in some lyricism, it is not the merriest of memories.
      Any memory, no matter how exurgent, finds itself tainted by the mere quality of being a memory (a no-longer, a surreal experience of phenomenon), as as any good memory finds itself handicapped by our longing to replicate it, any bad memory already holds that weight in its own architecture.
      Thus, no poem-of-memory can find itself free from, at least, a moderate amount of pain.
      But I’m presently good and well; I cannot write as much as I did before, as I run a moderately frenetic life, but I’m super duper.
      How about you?

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy you found it so, Julia! My poems are the work of a tender novice, but I find my impetus to grow not only in what I find is left unsaid, but also by words such as yours, ones that command humility and gratitude.
      And in such, I’m perpetually grateful, truly.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve been writing for a while, but in English, which is far from my native tongue, I’ve only written in for about a year, maybe less.
        With such frugal experience, it would be crushingly pretentious to assume I’m anything but a novice, yet my dedication is unwavering, and perhaps that compensates for the relatively lithe experience.
        I’m not certain I can match such expectations of treasure, but I’m very hopeful that I may, and even more intensely hopeful if I have people such as yourself right beside me.
        Again, thank you so much Julia. Your kindness is abound.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I really enjoyed this one. I especially love your use of metaphor and personification as its inspired the muscle of my imagination to flex just to try to grasp even a portion of what you meant. Really beautiful. Btw, thanks for following The Poets Peace, your support means a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Monumental. Has me bemoaning my weak efforts. But seriously you are so talented. Love each work you produce because you are an absolute star. Stay up my fellow writer. I say that to put myself on your level in that regardless of quality we both write, ha. Stay up Caliath


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